What a day. Where should I start to write about it? I do love my Savior. It is so great to again be a member of His church. I was inspired as I called people and as I organized the program but still forgot some of the many great servants of God that have helped me. My daughter Camella wrote a poem about my tears. I included it in the program that follows this journal entry. I also wrote a poem about my wonderful Bishop. I put it on the rear of the program. As I asked Bro. Dave on the phone to speak he asked what topic. I started to say, “I don't know.” It did not come out instead I said, “The miracle of the atonement”. The words came to me exactly like the words of my poems do. God again inspired me to ask Bsp. Moses to bear his testimony about being bishop of the prison branch.

There was so much Priesthood power in attendance. Bro. Mark, a prison institute teacher, came. Another prison institute teacher, Bro. Ammon who is part of my Christmas story is on a full time Mission. I am sure he would have come. Bsp. Moses would have come even without being on the program. Others there were Bsp. Adam, Bro. Amulek, Bsp. Noah, Bro. and Sis. Abel, Bro. and Sis. Bob, Bro. and Sis. Titus, Bro. and Sis. Dave, Bsp. Luke, Sis. Molly, Two of Vivian's sisters, their Husbands, one of their daughters, Marie and Elaine (sisters), Bro. Marvin, Bro. Fred, Sis. Martha (Relief Society Pres.), A Sister from the primary, My Children, (Ellam, Camella, Felysha, Randolph, and his wife), Vivian, my magnificent and I hope, eternal companion; Anton, Vivian's Dad, and her new Mom, Jill.

I cried during the whole of the proceedings. At the end Bsp. Luke allowed me to bear my testimony. It was a thrill. I hope I can learn to be what God wants me to be. May I learn to listen to the Holy Ghost now that I have the Gift. I cherish the gift. I worry about worthiness. I have twice today caught lusting profanity coming out of my mouth. It is a subconscious habit. I have also turned Lust over to God several times. I still feel clean but it concerns me that I have so many weaknesses. I want to keep the gift of the Holy Ghost near. I know it would be so easy to sabotage myself if I am not capable of forgiving myself of human frailties and taking it a step at a time. I feel myself coming down from the spiritual high of this morning. Part of it is because I am tired.

It is Fathers day now but I am going to continue writing of yesterday. I am still scatterbrained. I forgot my change of under shorts. I left my book with the baptismal recommend on my computer desk at home. Bro. Fred was so good to help as Randolph and I prepare by getting dressed in white. He told me that Bro. Titus of the bishopric had gotten up at the 3 'o clock hour to fill the font. What a humbling feeling and at the same time a feeling of my own worth as a child of God and a part of His plans. As I entered the room and saw the group attending, I hurried to give hugs to some of the neat people who have helped me. I am crying again as I write. The time to start was here, but the bishop was not. I had seen him earlier so I knew he was here. I found him in the hall crying spiritual tears as he responded to my poem about him on the program by writing words in a card I was to receive from the bishopric. I am including the picture from the card and what they wrote after this journal entry. The card would later intensify my tears as I opened it. The Bishop started the services. My beautiful Vivian stood and led the opening song. “Dear To The Heart Of A Shepherd” are the lost ones. I was lost. I was searched out by my Savior and His servants. He had used the great men, many of whom were present, to bring the spiritual truth that is the miracle of the atonement. The miracle that means even me, an addict of pornography and lust can be a found lost one and return to him. I could even in some small way become an under shepherd for others just as His servants had helped me. The program was introduced then it proceeded. As Bsp. Moses stood he had spiritual tears in his eyes. Those listening were told of the prison being a spiritual hospital for lost sheep. His voice broke as be spoke of the powerful spirit God sent to show his love for his children who have strayed. It had been his request to talk about his ten years as bishop of the prison branch. I knew of no one who had been invited to attend who did not know my story. I even said I wanted it that way. It turned out that several were there who did not know. I pray with all my heart that they were not offended. I still feel good even though Elder Paul at my general authority interview had warned me to leave the past in the past. I want to do as he advised and look to the future.

Next came Vivian's solo. “I Do Believe,” was very significant in my progress. She was kind to consent to sing at the last moment. I am also inspired by Bart's wife's willingness to use her talents to accompany my sweetheart. I thought about Bart and his help before he passed beyond the veil. I felt the presence of angels in the room. I was sure that Kari, Gary, Dan, (Parents & brother) and Les the wonderful Grandfather who seemed to be my guardian angel at the prison. The same Grandfather who had helped me woo and capture my Vivian's heart over thirty years ago, while I was on active Duty.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. My bishopric had put on a program out at the prison the week before. Bro. Dave as he spoke could also testify of the power of the spirit that is there to touch the lives of those men in the Chapel that is part of the prison complex. Dave talked of his surprised reaction when I asked that the topic be the miracle of the atonement. Should I tell him that it was not my request. Now the time for baptism was here. I was excited. I ended up backwards in the font and had to be turned around. Thanks to Bro. Fred I was able to allow my dear son to enter the water first and then lead me down. How wonderful. “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow.” (Isaih 1:18) I was buried in the water by the son I had asked to baptize me many years ago while I was still in prison. As I came up out of the water I did feel intensely the atonement as a personal miracle of supreme love from Christ. I did not comb my hair so as I entered the baptismal viewing room Vivian laughed at me and with me as she sent me back to do something about it, scatterbrained again.

The Bishop asked those who had been asked to participate in the Confirmation to come forward. Scatterbrained again, I had not asked anyone. I just said, “please come up,” to all.

The Priesthood holders were confused. There were too many to fit in the circle, but Bishop Luke showed his faith, “We will find a way.” There was so much priesthood power present from so many men. Bsp. Moses said, “Your neck is going to be shorter.” I said, “It will be worth it.”

It really was crowded as each scrunched in. All did assist as my dear Father in Law spoke the word's, “Receive ye the Holy Ghost.” I felt very humble through wet eyes as tears ran down my checks.

The Bishop had inserted himself into the program. Though grateful I said, “You always get the last word.” As he began though he said, “I want to invite you to bear your testimony if you would like to.” I did want to. For years I have wanted to bear my testimony in a church meeting. I wonder what I will say the first time I bear my testimony in Fast meeting I pray God will help me and that it can be placed correctly and be short. As I stood I grabbed the table for strength. With a silent prayer in my heart I began by thanking those who had helped me. Some were not there. I mentioned Bro. Ammon who is now on a mission. I also mentioned feelings that some from beyond the veil were here. I mentioned Molly's husband who had been my best friend before he passed away. I felt the presence of My family who had passed away including my older brother whom I had never met. I am feeling his love and it seems significant. The words of the opening song were in my heart. God lives, May I humble myself enough to serve Him. Ellam closed the Services. Grandpa Anton said that as he prayed Ellam corrected all of the mistakes. The hugs and congratulations from all that were there was fun. As my sisters, who had been so much strength during past hard years, hugged me there were tears in Elaine's eyes. I mentioned that I felt the presence of Prince family members who had passed on. There was so much caring from family and from friends.

At least three whom they or their wives had said could not be there had come. The wheels in their spiritual mind's had started turning and asking God. I witnessed that with Bro. Mark over the phone. “I have a mandatory meeting at the prison to train counselors for the church to enter the prison,” he said. Then after a pause, “Perhaps I can change the order of the program and they will allow me to leave early.” He came. Two others came off the mountain early from a Stake Father and Son's outing. That is not easy for a Bishop. It is a humbling thought to realize that I am that important to both the Lord and his strong spiritual servants.

I received the beautiful card that each member of the bishopric and the executive secretary had all written their thoughts in. As I opened it I saw my best friend, my Savior, standing in readiness for his own baptism. John with his arm to the square was saying the baptismal prayer just as my Randolph had done for me a few minutes before.

Then I was given my requested gift from Vivian. I now had a new set of scriptures. She had remembered. Life was full. But future related blessings from the hour were not over. Vivian's wonderful family was making plans as I went to the rear of the room. The plans were for a visit as a family to the new temple. The open house tours were being scheduled so that family tickets could be obtained. My next important spiritual goal was now restoration of priesthood and temple blessings. That would not happen the Bishop's handbook says for at least a year. That will be a great blessing. Now in a couple of months would be a sort of intermediate step. I am sure it can help me focus on my goals. More important I will be able to be with family as I go through on the tour. That seems significant. I seem to be progressing towards God's house.